Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
