you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
