I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
