That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
