So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i think i have herpe
just one?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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