Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
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