Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
