my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
