I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
