so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Randomize
