Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
