new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
What drink are we having for lunch?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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