Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
