I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
