I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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