Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
