I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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