im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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