either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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