if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
