No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
