He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
