i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
