I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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