do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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