Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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