No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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