Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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