Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
