I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
