i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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