Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
