meet me or not, i'm out of control
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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