Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
