nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
