Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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