I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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