now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My breasts were aching with rage.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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