I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
