i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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