Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So much rum. So many feels.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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