Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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