People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
