Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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