Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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