You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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