I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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