Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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