So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
