Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
