I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
